Breathing Easier in the Crisp Air

The crisp air is both inviting and refreshing—I can breathe easier, feel more, without that suffocating heaviness. I welcome these fall days, even knowing the bitter cold is on its way. There's something about the clarity in the air, a coolness that cuts right through to my core. The thick, humid air that came before clung to the skin, wrapping around it like a damp blanket, clouding the mind and dragging your focus elsewhere. But this shift, this cool change, is a relief. It lets me breathe, lets me just be here, in this moment.

The Weight of Change: A New Season, A New Chapter
Being present, though, isn’t as simple as it sounds. I feel unsteady, unmoored in this new chapter where so much depends on me—both in my career and my personal life. I’m not quite sure where I’m steering this yet. Part of me wants to look ahead, but anxiety swirls, much like the humid air did, clouding my thoughts.

Navigating Uncertainty: Career and Life at a Crossroads
I wake up at night, my head pounding, replaying moments from the past few weeks, wondering if I made the right calls. I question how others perceive me, how they'll respond. I’m stuck in this cycle of second-guessing, unable to let go of what I can't change. But I know I have to. I have to release the weight of other people's opinions and focus on my own voice. I need to speak my truth, fearlessly.

Letting Go of the Past: Finding My Voice
Change is here, deep in my bones. I feel the cool breeze wrap around me as leaves float and fall through the air. A small yellow leaf lands on my keyboard—golden and fingernail-sized, its corner missing, torn away by the wind or perhaps brittle from time. It feels like a sign. A reminder to surrender to this change, imperfections and all. To let things unfold as they will.

A Sign in the Leaves: Embracing Imperfection
The suffocating weight has lifted. I can finally breathe again, fully, with all my senses—and that's something I won't let go of.

Igniting a Journey of Self-Discovery

The Cycle of Self-Criticism

Breaking Free from the Burden of Perfection

Throughout my entire life, I've been relentlessly hard on myself. Breaking this cycle has proven to be an incredibly tough challenge. Whether it’s due to my identity, societal pressures, or a mix of both, I've been conditioned to believe that I must achieve countless things. Falling short often leads to feelings of emptiness, unworthiness, and a lack of purpose. I’ve always aimed to excel, striving for a level of perfection that’s exhausting and unrealistic.

In my relentless pursuit of these goals, I've neglected the present and the simple moments right in front of me. I constantly focus on what's next, consumed by worry about potential imperfections. My mind switches to autopilot, overthinking every task based on past experiences. The burden of frustration, self-doubt, and the need to please others has made me realize that I’ve never truly been living. I've spent too much time ruminating on past mistakes and worrying about others' opinions, missing out on the beauty of life’s everyday moments.

Living in the Moment

Shifting Focus from Future Worries to Present Joys

Starting this blog has been a revelation. It made me recognize the necessity for change, and I want to invite you to join me on this journey. By embracing the present and fully engaging with my senses, I’ve started to find meaning and purpose. I've realized that focusing too much on the past and future had prevented me from truly experiencing life.

The Name Connection

Finding Meaning in ‘Erin Amber’—The Power of Nature and Peace

This journey of self-discovery began when I made a connection between my name—Erin Amber—and the life I aspire to live. The name Erin translates to ‘Ireland’ or ‘green water,’ conjuring images of lush landscapes full of sensory experiences: the smell of trees and grass, the sounds of forests, and the feeling of moving through nature. I've always felt drawn to the tranquility of the woods, where I could lose myself in the world around me and feel deeply connected to my surroundings.

Interestingly, in other cultures, 'Erin' also means 'peace'—a reminder to accept life’s imperfections and find contentment in the present. It’s through our mistakes and the experiences that follow that we grow. Embracing life as it comes, without trying to control or judge it, is a struggle, but there is something liberating in simply being present.

The Essence of Amber

Preserving Life's Energy and Embracing Positive Renewal

My middle name, Amber, adds another layer of meaning. Amber embodies the life force of nature, preserving flora, insects, and small organisms in its warm, golden hues. It’s known as a stone of the sun in many cultures, symbolizing positive energy, healing, protection, and renewal. To me, amber encapsulates a single living moment for eternity, reminding us to embrace the essence of being present.

Embersoul’s Birth

Shedding What Holds Us Back to Ignite Our Inner Light

Despite the inherent significance of my name, I wasn’t living up to it. The constant drive to achieve—whether in academics, my career, or through comparisons with others—controlled my daily actions. This realization led to the birth of Embersoul. I needed to find a way to ignite the creativity and consciousness I craved to genuinely live my life. Like an ember that holds the potential for a flame, my passion for writing and artistry was there, but I struggled to kindle it meaningfully.

A Journey of Unfolding

Uncovering True Identity by Breaking Old Patterns

It wasn’t until I understood that I needed to let go of self-disappointment, doubt, envy, frustration, and anxiety that I could start living the life I desired. By embracing the moment and fully engaging with my senses, I’ve begun to uncover my true identity—one not marred by rules, judgment, or the pressures of society. That’s how Embersoul came to be: a journey of shedding what holds us back, breaking old patterns, and finding the strength to become who we truly aspire to be.

Embracing the ‘Now’

Finding Joy in the Present Moment

This journey is about drawing the most from each moment, not dwelling on the past or obsessing over the future. It’s about embracing 'what is' and finding joy in the present. It’s taken me a long time to arrive here, but now that I’m here, I feel a newfound joy and laughter that I hadn't experienced before.

Join the Path

An Invitation to Walk Together Towards Freedom and Fulfillment

So here I am, inviting you to join me on this journey. I hope to inspire and be inspired as we embark on this path together, discovering freedom and fulfillment in the present moment. Let’s walk this road side by side, finding liberation and contentment in the beauty of the now.