Breaking Free or Just Getting Stuck?

The First Breakthrough: Landing My Internship
When I landed my first internship at 23, it came after a tough year of applying for jobs, going to interviews, and facing constant rejection. So, when a marketing agency offered me a chance, it felt like I was finally breaking free from everything that had held me back—like I was finally finding my way to something bigger.

Mentorship and Meaning: Learning from Steve
I had an incredible mentor—Steve, the PR director at the time. He genuinely enjoyed helping young people like me who were struggling to break in. He saw something in me that I couldn’t see in myself. And he gave me a chance when no one else would. That meant the world to me.

Caught in the Moment: Missing the Bigger Picture
I was young, naive, and ready to learn. I soaked up everything Steve taught me—writing my first press releases, sitting in on media interviews, and just listening. But in my inexperience, I missed the bigger picture. There were signs—clues—that this career path wasn’t really meant for me.

The Unseen Struggles: Steve’s Silent Discontent
Steve’s actions stayed with me, though. I didn’t understand it at the time, but now, looking back, I realize how unhappy he was with his job. He was frustrated, disillusioned, probably around the same age I am now—middle age, the time when you start questioning your life choices.

When Everything Changes: Leadership and Loss
The company had brought in new leadership and changed everything about his team. Steve had to adapt on the fly, constantly trying to keep up with someone else’s vision. But I could tell he found joy in mentoring me. I saw it in his eyes, in the way he patiently taught me. He wanted to feel that spark again.

The Inevitable Frustration: Realizing What Really Matters
It was a sense of loss—loss of the way things used to be, the people who had come and gone, the direction things were heading that he didn’t agree with. There’s always that honeymoon period when everything clicks, but it never lasts.

Understanding Steve’s Struggles: My Own Career Journey
That growing frustration can make you feel hopeless. Now that I’ve been through all of this in my own career, I finally understand how Steve felt. Looking back, I realize I wasn’t breaking free. I was stepping into a prison that would never really fulfill me.

Defining Myself: What I’ve Learned
I poured too much of myself into a career that didn’t care about me. So why did I care so much about it? I had to stop letting it define me. I had to figure out what I wanted. Some things change, but others always stay the same.

Explore Your Ember

The Pressure to Choose a Path

We’ve all been told to follow a singular path—to chase our dreams or find our passion. This idea is drilled into us from childhood, through grade school, and into college, where we’re expected to pick one major and stick with it. This kind of pressure can be overwhelming for a child still figuring out who they are, let alone what they want to do for the rest of their lives. It's unrealistic and may even be a contributing factor to our mental health struggles. When our lives become centered around achievements and goals, we often experience unnecessary stress, anxiety, and even depression.

The Beauty of Wandering

I believe in a different approach—multiple paths, or maybe no paths at all. These journeys can meander through dark forests, stay still, or branch off in various directions. They might be paths we’ve walked before but want to revisit with newfound wisdom. They represent the sparks or embers within us that we yearn to rekindle and explore. It’s not about finding that one passion or dream; it’s simply about discovering people, experiences, and things that matter to us.

Life doesn't have to be framed as a singular journey—it can be about living on our own terms, free from societal expectations.

Keeping Our Spirits Alive

At its core, it’s about keeping our embers—our spirits—alive, embracing the essence of who we are. It takes wandering—physically, mentally, or in every way in between—to realize how to nurture that essence. I’m still on that journey, exploring various embers along the way.

The Weight of Expectations

As a kid, I had diverse interests—writing, theater, singing, and academics. But I felt the weight of the pressure to excel in one area. Life seemed focused on success and overcoming failures, leading me to believe that perfection was the only path to achievement. This constant striving for perfection triggered intense anxiety, ultimately leading to an eating disorder. The competition and fear of not measuring up created a toxic mindset, pitting me against everyone, including myself.

The narrative often tells us to refocus our failures and rejections as growth opportunities on our way to our dreams or passions. But what if that’s just a way to control who we are?

Redefining Fulfillment

The prevailing notion suggests that without a purpose or passion, we aren’t whole. It's a myth that tells us fulfillment comes from following a singular path and achieving our goals.

Let me share something: I didn’t chase my dream of becoming a Broadway actress, and I’m grateful for that. Society pushed me to choose a dream before I was ready. Now, with the wisdom that comes from experience, I realize that while I enjoyed acting in high school, it wasn’t my so-called true calling. I wanted to explore everything.

Wandering with Curiosity

Instead of being confined to a single pursuit, I aimed to live life with curiosity, to explore my embers without having to choose just one. I wish I had embraced this earlier; it would have preserved my mental health. I originally shifted my focus to broadcast journalism in college, only to discover it wasn’t a true passion either. I then pivoted again to marketing, which led to further disappointment and a sense of living someone else’s life.

Through these experiences, I became disillusioned with the idea that life must revolve around a singular dream. 

Breaking Free from Myths

Living life isn't about one dream or even multiple dreams; it’s not defined by accomplishments, failures, or rejections. These concepts are just constructs we’ve created to fit into a modern society’s agenda.

We don’t need a predefined path. The true path is forward—embracing life, exploring, learning, and enjoying the journey with those we love. Some may insist there's more to life—talking about purpose or serving others—but that merely supports a defined path.

Embracing Openness

As I’ve reached middle age, I’ve opened myself to whatever life has in store – I’ve started this blog for example and stopped focusing on chasing a meaningless ‘singular’ career as a definition of who I am. That’s because I now know I’m so much more than that. I’ve learned to cherish every moment, free from the need to find meaning or purpose. The meaning is already present, right in front of me. And that sense of freedom? That’s the true essence of living.