The Unexpected Power of Love

Love Without Struggle

One thing I’ve strangely never had to struggle much with is finding love. My parents have always been together, no divorce, no drama. Forty-plus years, and they’ve barely fought. They avoid conflict, which can be a blessing and a curse at times. But overall, growing up in a small Minnesotan town was as good as it gets. I’ve got no complaints.

When it comes to romantic relationships, though, in the past I was always able to find them—just not the right one. Like most people, I went through my share of trial and error. With low self-esteem as a kid, I’d fall in love with the idea of love—someone paying attention to me made me feel worthy, especially when I couldn’t find that worth within myself. I often chose partners for the wrong reasons: physical attraction and validation. I didn’t really think about whether they aligned with my values or who I was at my core. To be fair, I was still figuring that out, and my values were evolving. Looking back, some of the guys I dated I wouldn’t even consider now because I know myself so much better.

Love Finds Its Way

It’s strange how love just falls into place. There’s no plan. It happens when it’s supposed to, and you find that person who makes you feel whole. I found that in Nic—my kindred spirit, my best friend, my confidant. We’re so alike, but different enough to balance each other. He’s everything I ever wanted when it comes to love.

I met Nic when I was in a low place, depressed over another relationship that had ended. I wasn’t even looking for someone. I was just living life. And that’s when it happened. It’s funny how when you let go and stop trying so hard, the right things just fall into place. Meeting Nic was like a dream. There was this instant, mutual attraction that I’d never experienced before. In the past, my relationships felt one-sided—either I wasn’t that into them or I was distracted by school or my career. I’d stay in relationships longer than I should, often out of guilt or because I couldn’t face the truth about my feelings. People-pleasing at its finest.

But with Nic, it was different. We were both there, fully present, and really in love, the way it’s supposed to be.

A Deepening Connection

Over a decade later, we’re still together. The intensity has faded a bit, but what’s replaced it is something deeper—a connection, a bond that’s hard to put into words. We have our own language now, our own little world that only we understand. It’s comforting, finding that person who gets you, who loves and accepts you for everything you are, flaws and all.

It started with attraction, but now it’s a deep love. Nic’s my soulmate. He makes waking up in this sometimes harsh world a little easier. Having him by my side, having that comforting place to go when life gets tough—that’s what makes it all worth it.

What Really Matters

It’s taken me a while to realize this, but life isn’t about the degrees you earn or the career you wish you had. It’s about the people who make it all worth it. And often, these people come into your life by chance. There’s no plan, despite what we’re told. We’re just living in the present, and the relationships we build can push us to be more than we ever thought possible.

In the end, it’s not about what we do. It’s about who we’re with.